


It only happened once

by HazyCosmicJive



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, POV Jonas Noah Vasquez, conflicted feelings, evak is still endgame, im bad at everything lmao, kind of ambiguos ending?, maybe???, probably shouldnt read if you dont like the idea of jonas and isak hooking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:50:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazyCosmicJive/pseuds/HazyCosmicJive
Summary: The time Jonas hooked up with Isak





	It only happened once

**Author's Note:**

> I really cant believe I'm reuploading this  
> I remember uploading this the first time when there were like 2 fics Jonas/isak tag
> 
> this is the first fic I ever wrote and I don't even ship josak so idk what happned
> 
> this is like an AU or parallel universe for me, a 'what-if' not so much that I think it actually happened

It only happened once. They never talked about it. They’ve _never_ talked about it. It was a time where they both had been drinking smoking. They were supposed to be pregaming with some other guys they were, at most, acquaintances with. They were supposed to bring more beer and weed with them but bailed at the last minute. So instead he and isak were smoking what they had left of their last stash, which mostly amounted to stems, and a pack of beer. Mostly only enough for a buzz.

It ended up being fine. Jonas had sort of neglected his friendship with Isak, ever since they started first year, and it had been awhile since they hung out one-on-one.

So here they were sitting in Jonas' room since most of the time Isak avoided being at home. Especially since his dad started staying away for longer and longer periods of time and his mom s _tress_ got worse.

 

"So what's going on with Eva?" Isak asks interrupting his train of thought. Which at the time had been not thinking. Jonas groaned internally. 

 

"I don't know." He sighs. He really didn't want to talk about Eva right now. "We're... Still together. But yeah, I don't know.."

 

He didn't even finish the sentence. Not even being sure where he was going with the sentence in the first place. Eva had cheated on him. And with that fucking asshole Chris, who didn't even give a shit about the girls he hooked up with. All of them being some sort of conquest. What a fucking asshole, hooking up with girls who are clearly vulnerable. But still, he wasn’t dating  _ Chris _ . He didn't commit to a monogamous relationship with him and it's not like he forced Eva. No Eva cheated on him. Just because she thought he was cheating on her. How is that even a good reason to hook up with someone else when you don't even know for sure and you still consider yourself in a relationship?

Everything is confusing. Normally, he liked to ponder and dissect the occurrence of something. Really dig into it. But right now. Everything is just fucked. Right now he wanted to do anything but think.

 

"What about you, man, how is your mom doing?" He asks partially to change the subject but also because he did care and he's kind of been a dick all year.

Isak sat silently, eyes focused on the floor.

 

"I — she's getting worse." He whispers. "My dad is leaving. Like for good I think."

 

Well fuck. Had he really been so preoccupied with Eva and weed that he hadn't even noticed how bad things had gotten for his best friend?

He watches as the tears slowly start welling up in the blonde boy's eyes. Filling all the way up to the brim until there was nowhere else to go but to roll down the boy's now flushed face.

 

"Hey, hey," he says softly, shuffling over next to him. In the process almost knocking over the shoddy clay bowl he had made as kid that they were now using as an ashtray. Moving the bowl out of the way, he wraps his arm around the other boy's shoulder.

"Shit bro, I'm sorry, " Isak attempts to laugh, but it comes out more like a strangled cough. "I'm being such a baby."

 

"Dude, don't sweat it," he leans in closer tightening his embrace, "do you think I haven't cried with everything going on with Eva?"

 

It was a lie. He hadn't cried about Eva. And shouldn't have he? Sure guys don't admit to crying, but they still do. Isn't heartbreak supposed to be one of the worst pains? But that was all Isak needed to completely let go. He grabbed Jonas' shirt and buried is face in his shoulder. Broken sobs escaping his throat as his tears wet the thin cotton fabric. 

Jonas wraps his other arm around the sobbing boy, trying to telepathically transfer his body's warmth into the other boy's aching heart.

 

Maybe Jonas had always known about Isak's crush on him. He'd never really done anything that could be considered more than friendly, but there was still something. Something he somehow picked up on. Maybe intuition? Maybe it was the way he sometimes looked at him like he was the only person in the world. Or how he always seemed to find his way invited into his and Eva's plans. Still, he had left it unspoken.

So what happened next was like an unsurprising surprise. He didn't initiate it but he also didn't lean away.

 

Isak's lips were soft. Really not different than a girls, if she wasn't wearing some kind of lip gloss. Which of course they wouldn't be. It's not like guys' and girls' lips are made of anything different. So he presses back. He doesn't know why he does this. He's never even been attracted to guys.

_‘Isak is quite pretty’_ he thinks, ‘With his curly blond hair and cute dimples. He's not big and bulky and his skin is pleasantly soft. Still, though, he is unmistakably  _ male _ .’ 

The kiss doesn't stay languid for long as Isak whimpers into his mouth. Out of instinct Jonas opens his mouth. Isak must taken that as permission because next thing he knows he is pushing his tongue into his mouth. It's sloppy and hurried, obvious that Isak hasn't had a lot of practice, but it feels good too. However, that's just the weed and alcohol talking. He kisses back guiding his own tongue out to meet Isak's. It's still messy but Isak seems to be enjoying it, and something in the back of his mind tells Jonas that he is too. 

Then there is a hand on his groin. He let's out an involuntary moan, not even realizing he'd become hard. The weed must be more potent than he thought. He'd never be into it this much if he wasn't high. 

Suddenly Isak isn't kissing him anymore. Instead he's looking at him with wide, glassy eyes rimmed red from the crying and the weed. 

 

"Is this okay?"

 

He gulps. No it isn't. They shouldn't be doing this. He's not gay and they've both had too much weed and alcohol to be making responsible decisions. Logically, he knows he should stop now, but the way Isak is looking at him through his long lashes and the desire written over inch of his face, fuck if that doesn't just make him harder. He just nods instead.

Isak makes quick work of his belt, removing it in what might be a record amount of time. He pulls is jeans and boxers down in one go. Without a second to spare there is a mouth wrapped around his dick. His eyes shoot open and he hastily looks down at the fluffy haired blond boy between his thighs. He had assumed Isak had just meant maybe a handjob not sucking him off.

He meant to stop him. Truly, he did. It wasn't right and he didn't love Isak the way Isak loved him. He's taking advantage of him. But it's pretty damn hard to protest when he's looking up at Jonas with those hazy, lust filled eyes only to release a low groan with his mouth still attached to his dick that electrifies Jonas to the core.

 

_ 'Jesus Christ he's turned on just from sucking my dick _ '

 

The thought was unbelievably hot. He liked to believe girls were into it as much as he was getting it, but a lot of the time they were just into him and knew guys liked when they got their dicks sucked. But Isak seemed to be into it just as much as he was.

He feels Isak's teeth scrape his dick and he let's out an audible hiss.

 

"Sorry," Isak says releasing his dick with with a wet pop. He looked incredibly and irrevocably wrecked. Mouth slick with spit and, fuck, is that  _ precome?  _ "I've never done this before."

 

There it was, the guilt that they really _really_ shouldn't be doing this. Yet, looking at him on his knees in front of him begging to please, he looks like he needs this. So instead he tilts his head back and closes his eyes.

Isak returns to his ministrations, however this time he starts at Jonas' base, slowly licking up the underside all the way to his tip. Jonas releases another groan, despite Isak's inexperience he was doing a pretty spectacular job.

 

_ 'Maybe guys are just naturally better'  _ he muses.

 

Either way he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. Then he felt Isak's hand caressing his balls, gently tugging, while his other hand moved in tandem with his bobbing mouth. 

 

"Fuck!" Jonas cusses, grabbing Isak by the hair. "Isak, I'm gonna come."

This didn't seem to slow the boy down, as he kept sucking, ignoring Jonas' warning. 

 

"Ah fuck!" He cries out one more time, and with a strangled moan he comes in Isak's mouth. 

Still trying to recover, Jonas sat there processing what had just happened. Finally he opened his eyes. Isak is disheveled and obviously still aroused. He watches as Isak unbuckles his own jeans and starts to reach inside his own waistband. And, god knows what compelled him to do this, but he catches the smaller boy's wrist and halts him. Isak widens his eyes in shock.

Slowly Jonas pushes Isak's hands away while the other boy stares at him blankly as if he might be dreaming and is going to wake up any moment now. Jonas licks his lips apprehensively, which Isak must have noticed as he begins to reach for Jonas' hands.

 

"It's okay. I can do it, I'm probably not going to last long anyway." He assures Jonas.

 

If anything that sentence only served to resolve any doubts he might have held. Here is this person who is so turned on, so into him that he doesn't even want anything in return. So, yeah, it's narcissistic. Maybe even fucked up. But god does it feel awesome to have someone look at you like you hung the sun.

He grips his hand around Isak's dick. It's...different, but not bad really. He strokes him slowly at first, trying to get a feel for stroking a dick that isn't his own. He looks up at Isak who still has that look on his face that says he can't believe this is happening. His eyes are dilated to the point where it would be impossible to determine the color. He's still staring at him in sheer amazement that, yes, this is happening.

Jonas picks up the pace and all you can hear is the slick sound of his hand rapidly moving up and down another guy's cock. Isak wasn't wrong in saying that he wouldn’t last long, it hadn’t even been a minute after he sped up his strokes before Isak was coming with short gasps escaping his mouth. Neither one of them spoke. Jonas wiped his hand of on a dirty T-shirt from from his hamper. Tiredness beginning to set in, the result of smoking weed and sexual release.

 

If Jonas hadn’t woken up with beer cans on the floor, a full ashtray, and a golden haired boy next to him, he would’ve thought he had dreamed it all. A really fucking weird dream.

Jonas pokes the sleeping boy who was drooling on the arm he was stretched out on.

 

“Aw fuck,” Isak growns and sits up. “I think I killed my arm.”

 

Isak grimaces when he tries to soothe out the tension in his arm, but he turns and grins at Jonas.

 

“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t get that fucking shit-faced.” He laughs, “I can’t remember a damn thing from last night.”

 

Lies.

 

He watches as Isak’s face drops. God that was a dick move. Pretending nothing happened. They both know they both under the influence but in no way was it so much as to not remember. Quickly, Isak recovers and gives a huge smile. A smile too big to be genuine.

 

“Yeah dude, me either!” he laughs and claps Jonas on the back. And that was it. They went back to how they were before, as if nothing had ever happened.

 

The event doesn’t really affect their relationship. They still hang out and joke like normal. Isak was there for him when he and Eva inevitably broke up and he eventually Jonas began to hook up with other girls, earning himself a good reputation because he started going down on girls. Then Isak found a girlfriend. That hurt a little. He is his best friend and he didn’t want to see him forcing himself to be something he isn’t. But, of course, he doesn’t do anything, or if anything he eggs him on. The relationship is short anyway. 

Around the beginning of their second year, he starts to notice Isak’s attention starting to drift away. He is kind of hurt by it. When he questions Isak about it he always shrugged and mumbled something about his mom. Jonas knows that that situation was still rough, but he also knows that Isak’s been lying.

He tried on several occasions to reason with him and get him to open up. He still regrets not always being there for his friend during first year, but he also knows he’s not one to talk with the way he had kept things from Eva and pretended like nothing happened between him and Isak.

Then there is a day when they are all watching the dancing chicks, when  _that guy_ approaches the squad. He is tall with stylized blonde hair like some kind of norwegian wannabe James dean. He tosses a red cap to Isak and says that he had forgotten it on Friday, and jesus did Isak look petrified. Blonde guy clearly notices and casually adds, ‘in the cafeteria,’ before sauntering off.

Jonas thinks about the comments Isak had just made prior, about the dance guy being gay, and how he had called him out on it. Probably as some sort of reparation for some of the shit he’s said and done in the past, like calling Isak’s taste in music gay, letting Elias treat him poorly, encouraging him to date Sara. And the _other_ thing.

But seeing that guy and how Isak had reacted he knows that he hadn’t been chilling at home like he had said. Then it clicks. Isak no longer looks at him like he is the most important person in the world.

Jonas thinks it’s kind of nice that Isak moved on. He isn’t and wasn’t in love with Isak, and staying hung up on someone wouldn’t ever want what he wanted would not be good for Isak. But another part of Jonas ached for that closeness they had had. 

He liked Even, whose name he found out later when Isak finally decided to come out to him. Even is a really chill dude, who is so obviously in love with Isak, but now Isak goes to _Even_ first. He knows how selfish he is being. It’s not like Isak has disappeared completely. They still hang out, in fact more since Isak was no longer struggling with internal conflict, and Isak is so much more comfortable and happy now. Still, he can’t help that he feels sort of bitter.

But they still have never talked about what had happened between them on that fateful night. But why should they now? It’s over. Isak is out and has a boyfriend. There’s no reason to bring up the past when, really, he wasn’t in love with Isak, and it had only happened once.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for my grammar mistakes and weird tense usage :/
> 
> sorry if I got any characterization wrong, I tried my best to capture both of them accurately


End file.
